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A- "Boondoggles"- that's what the Chicago Trib called them- boondoggles, makework projects to justify the dole- like tidying up back lane, picking rocks, digging dandelions. Sure, digging dandelions. Ain't you never heard of the Great Dandelion Offensive of 1931?
B- Men: When we leave here, we're going to walk over to the top of Niagara Street and start cleaning the dandelions off the boulevard. Now, if everybody willl co-operate, we'll get along just fine. Nobody expects you to bust a gut on this job but, if you set yourself some kind of a goal, time is bound to go quicker. There's only one rule: you can kneel down, sit down, or lie down; but I don't want to see you standing up. Standing up will attract the attention of the people on the street and, if they see you standing around doing bugger all, some of these dames will be phoning in to raise hell. Then I get hell and, if I do, then I'll sure as hell dish out some myself.
A- We kneeled and jabbed dandelions, we sat down and jabbed dandelions, we lolled full length and jabbed dandelions. We sharpened the blades of our knives. We watched the housewives go shopping.
C- By God! This is it. The last outrage. Here's what I sweat and slave to pay taxes for? To pay all the lazy bums in Winnipeg to sit around on the boulevard? Well, by God, I've had it! I'm going to the mayor! I'm going to the newspapers!
B- The next thing any of us knew, one of our gang was over by this taxpayer's car, and he had grabbed the taxpayer'stie, and pulled the taxpayer's head out the open window of his car. Their noses were about six inches apart and a dandelion knife was pointed at the taxpayer's chin.
A- I'm not a bum. I am a railroad fireman. But because this country is being run by stupid people like you, I can't hold a wiper's job in the shops. And we are not being paid for this job, not one dime. We take jobs like this because we're afraid of getting cut off the relief. And you are not going to report anyone to anyone. You are going to get the hell off the street. And if you so much as let out a peep to anyone, there are twenty guys here who have your licence number and who have all the spare time required to make you live to regreat it.
B- He released the taxpayer, and gave his face a vigorous assist back through the open window. And, as it moved past him, he held the screaming point of his dandelion knife against the side of the taxpayer's car.
(Sound of screaming. Lights down.)
B- Men: When we leave here, we're going to walk over to the top of Niagara Street and start cleaning the dandelions off the boulevard. Now, if everybody willl co-operate, we'll get along just fine. Nobody expects you to bust a gut on this job but, if you set yourself some kind of a goal, time is bound to go quicker. There's only one rule: you can kneel down, sit down, or lie down; but I don't want to see you standing up. Standing up will attract the attention of the people on the street and, if they see you standing around doing bugger all, some of these dames will be phoning in to raise hell. Then I get hell and, if I do, then I'll sure as hell dish out some myself.
A- We kneeled and jabbed dandelions, we sat down and jabbed dandelions, we lolled full length and jabbed dandelions. We sharpened the blades of our knives. We watched the housewives go shopping.
C- By God! This is it. The last outrage. Here's what I sweat and slave to pay taxes for? To pay all the lazy bums in Winnipeg to sit around on the boulevard? Well, by God, I've had it! I'm going to the mayor! I'm going to the newspapers!
B- The next thing any of us knew, one of our gang was over by this taxpayer's car, and he had grabbed the taxpayer'stie, and pulled the taxpayer's head out the open window of his car. Their noses were about six inches apart and a dandelion knife was pointed at the taxpayer's chin.
A- I'm not a bum. I am a railroad fireman. But because this country is being run by stupid people like you, I can't hold a wiper's job in the shops. And we are not being paid for this job, not one dime. We take jobs like this because we're afraid of getting cut off the relief. And you are not going to report anyone to anyone. You are going to get the hell off the street. And if you so much as let out a peep to anyone, there are twenty guys here who have your licence number and who have all the spare time required to make you live to regreat it.
B- He released the taxpayer, and gave his face a vigorous assist back through the open window. And, as it moved past him, he held the screaming point of his dandelion knife against the side of the taxpayer's car.
(Sound of screaming. Lights down.)
